Can't Sleep

Why can't I sleep? I'm plenty tired physically. Maybe it's because today for the first time in too long, my mind is awake. I am happy today. Something broke through my misery, my grand little pity party. So what shall I write about while most sane people are sleeping? Well, then again, I never claimed to be sane.

I will stick to memories of Michael tonight:

Michael loved the Jewish nation, and he affectionally called those he loved and those he was perturbed by jew faces. Jared, his roommate and good friend, got to where he would just say, "Hey Jew."

Michael was appropriately inappropriate... it's hard to explain. Here are some examples, "Shall we go down?" "It is delicious to the taste and very desirable. "- referring to good food. In the middle of sacrament meeting, "This isn't the appropriate time or place, but you have hot legs."

MIchael was a self appointed music snob. The first concert we went together to was a band concert. Halfway through, he leaned over and asked me if I was enjoying myself, and I said, "Sure." He seemed slightly uncomfortable, and replied, "Would you mind if we left?" He then apologized, and said, "I really am a music snob." Michael was the first one to admit that musically talented people had generally great big egos.

Michael loved fascimile number 2. He coveted Tyron Jensen's facsimile number two.

I remember the first time we held hands. We were going on a walk, I had just told him that I liked him and wanted to know either way- yes or no, so I could either get over him or know what was going on. He told me a story, about how there was this girl who he had been seen to be spending more time with over the past week, and when questioned by people in our ward if we were dating, he said he didn't know. Then on several different occasions, different people told him he better be careful and that he would be in serious trouble if he hurt me. So he told me that this caught his attention and that he wanted to be sure that he did like this girl. The verdict was that he did. So we continued walking, and it was snowing, so I said we should make snow angels and promptly lay down in the thick, cold, wet snow and made a snow angel. I got up, and Michael said, "You have snow on your bum." When I thanked him he said that he would be willing to help me but didn't feel like we had quite reached that stage in our relationship. I then said, "My hands are cold." He then said, "Well, I can help," and held my hand. What I hope to always remember was the next question was, "What are your pet peeves, so I don't do them."

On the crazy bowling date he clicked his heels, we cuddled while watching Madagascar. I put my head on his shoulder, and he put his hand on my knee. He made me spaghetti the next day, and we finished the movie.

Oh the walks we went on. We always went for walks to talk about how we were feeling, mostly to assure me of his love for me. He would always thank me for calling him, listen, and then tell me that it was completely valid how I felt, then go on to explain to me how much he loved me and would try to help me see the good in myself.

I remember once going to his apartment before we went out to do something. I knocked on the door, entered when I heard a "Come in." from the back, MIchael came out from the back with so much energy, pushed me against the door, kissed me- then looked at me and said, "Well, hello." That made me feel so loved.

I remember after we had our apartment and began eating dinner there together. He would come home from work to me working in the kitchen, come and hug me and say so warmly and sincerely, "Coming home to you makes me so happy. I love you so much."

I remember when I was called to be a gospel doctrine teacher, he was so jealous that he swore. It makes me laugh to think of that.

He would get so mad at stupid drivers.

When we were eating delicious but not so nutritious food, he would say, "Now this'll kill ya, but at least you'll die happy."

When we would play Settlers of Catan, and a good number was rolled he would say, "And there was much rejoicing."

He loved his Mom so much. She was who he called to ask advice about what he should do, to vent a little bit, to get recipes from her, but most of all he loved to call and share with her when he was having a good day.

He would hold me till I fell asleep, and wake me up with a kiss and breakfast.

I remember the first time I met his Dad, he was so nervous because he'd never really brought a girl to meet his parents. So we didn't even hold hands. Afterwards we went to temple square to see the lights for a little bit before picking up my friend Alexay. We were walking back to the car and he said when we get back to the car, we are going to have a magical kiss. Instead, we had gotten a ticket, which made him so mad we got in the car, were on our way when he hit the steering wheel, and said, "That blasted ticket ruined our magical kiss!" It made me laugh.

To be continued... but can you see why I loved him? It's pretty easy to see, isn't it?