I am so frustrated with myself.

I have painted myself into a corner, I never do what I should any more, and my grades are suffereing, plus I am always ina bad mood, because I never get my homework. Plus all the sleep that I get because I don't do homework does me no good. I still fall asleep in class, skip scriptures and prayer. I feel like I am drowning and there is no help for me. In order to do all I need to, I will have to stay up untill morning comes, and it is the price I pay for being so stupid, so I guss I better stop blabbing on this thing and get to work. However, there are sometimes when I feel like I have no one to go to, I am always complaining to God, he knows my troubles and I feel like I am a burden to him. My mom is always tired and doesn't feel well, plus she has her own worries. PLus Dad is always sleeping, watching TV, or in a bad mood. None of my so called friends see fit to caRe about me, and I pretend not to notice, I keep on being the "good friend" but at the moment, all these bitter feelings I am feeling don't constitute friendly behaviors. Sigh, I am getting bitter again. PLus, NIchole is so good, always plugging away, doing the things she knows she should. Understanding school, working hard at work and off work. Sigh, and to sit down next to that!! Wow! You have got to be kidding me, because when I do sit down, I am there twice as long. I know this isn't doing me any good either though, this game of avoiding. Pretending. Procastinating. I am out of the way long enough that people think I am working, becaus eI havea good reputation I suppose, but at the moment no one cares to check up on me. I feel like I am letting everyone down, and where I used to feel strong. I now feel weak and inadequate. I feel like crying but no tears come. Better go to work, and forget myself.
Natalie