Honey, I'm home...

Well, I am back from work. Already!! I know, that is a rarity. I have so much homework to do, but an update on my feelings. Okay, school really bums me out, I wish I was a straight A student, but I'm not and I am not smart enough to be my Daddy's hero and my Mother's pride. Oh, don't worry, they have never ever pressured me to be smart, or that they only love smart children, but I wish so much that I was that child. You know, the perfect one, that is all I have ever wanted... for selfish reasons no doubt. I admit it, I wish that I was the only one who did things right, so that I could be the hero and get all the honor and glory. Yeah, that's a christ-like attitude for ya! I know, I am working on it... I should do more! Plus, Nichole has really broken out of her shell and she is the prettier, skinnier one, who wears the right clothes, has the right hair, wears makeup, works hard, is smart and nice, and has the homecoming king liking her. Yeah. John York. What a character, he is someone you have to meet, and you probably have, he is the tyical homecoming king stereotype. He's cute, granted he has imperfections like a anglular nose, and one kidney, but basically that's as much as you can ask for . He's smart, 4.0, takes all the hard classes, is on math team, scholastic bowl, Beta Club, need I say more? He is popular too, with everyone, he is nice to all. Heck, when we first moved here, he was the only one who acknowledged us in the halls. He has a broken family, his grandmother just died, but he is the hero-type with a heart. He loves his family no matter what, his friends are friends for life, and he saves people without thought. He is in many ways a kid. So, that's my profile. He likes to razz us because we are from Iowa. Wow, did you catch that. I need to stop talking about myself like I have two heads or something! That's part of my problem, I feel like I am living in Nichole's shadow. Why should I feel like that, I shouldn't even care. She is my sister and I love her. We are both different and she loves me so much. SHe would do anything for me in a heartbeat. She always knows what to say, and says it. She also knows when not to say it. Don't get me wrong, she is not perfect in many ways. But more often that not she wins hands down in everything. I shouldn't even be feeling these selfish feelings. I just feel like I am in a corner. Boxed in, with no way, not really feeling like I deserve to get out. I should suffer for my bad choices, like not doing my homework. I feel so stupid, like today in Chemistry. Oh, gotta go.